absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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