You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize