just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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