My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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