you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
