I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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