Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
