Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
