I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
