it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
