Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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