Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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