Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
