All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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