Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
birth control should be required to get into college
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
