i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
