I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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