Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
