Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just google imaged poop.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
