So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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