Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
