I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
