O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
