So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
