so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
