$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
