What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
