I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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