i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize