Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
