i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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