I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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