yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
worst night to have a conscience
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
