and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
