Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
