tell your sister to shave her snatch
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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