I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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