I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
