Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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