Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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