yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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