I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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