You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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