He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
