she was so not down for the gang bang
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
