it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
