we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
