I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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