Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
