would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
