YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
