it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
