let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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