guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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