Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
