I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
