Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We are all done wearing pants today
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
