We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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