Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
