she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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