"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize